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Picture this scene, you’re standing in your local wine shop or grocery store in the wine aisle that seems to go on forever and you start to feel sweaty.

You know your hair is going to frizz in 2.4 seconds and it’s making you anxious. After all you did not just spend 30 minutes flat ironing it for it to start frizzing out.

Of course you want a bottle of wine to drink, but the sheer amount of choices are completely overwhelming.

Old world, new world, bold, fruity, spicy, what the hell does all that even mean?

Vintages, varietals, lions, and tigers and bears oh my, this should be fun. Why are you ready to have a melt down?

Breathe. Just breathe. I’m here to help. This is a little unorthodox but it will work just trust me.

Now you only get to pick ONE of each and this isn’t “yes, but.” Pick one or else 😉:


  • Milk chocolate with hazelnuts or 70% dark chocolate?

    • Milk chocolate:  Try medium reds like Merlot, Carmenere, or Cabernet Franc, or Bordeaux Blend
    • 70% dark chocolate: Try bold reds like Malbec, Tannat, Tempranillo or Petite Sirah


  • Mango or Pink Grapefruit

    • Mango:  You like it sweet, try sweet whites Moscato, Riesling,  Chenin Blanc
    • Pink Grapefuit:  Try dry or rich whites like Sauvingnon Blanc, Gruner Veltliner, Pinot Gris, Albariño, or Vihno Verde

Spread it on a cracker:

  • Lemon curd or olive tapenade

    • Lemon curd:  Look for dry high acid light whites like Pinot Grigio, Sauvignon Blanc, Sparkling wine, Champagne, or Riesling
    • Olive tapenade: Try rich whites White Bordeaux, Vourvay, Oaked Chardonnay, Dry Rosé, and reds Primitivo, Pinot Noir, or Cabernet Franc 

A bowl of:

  • Tart cherries or juicy blackberries

    • Tart cherries:  Try Pinot Noir, Gamay, Carmenere, or Sangiovese
    • Juicy blackberries:  Try Zinfandel, Shiraz, Malbec, Petit-Sirah, Cabernet Sauvignon, Cabernet-Merlot Blends, or Nero d’Avola

Now, click here for this handy PDF chart that I know you’ll thank me for later. If you want to read the article online to see the gorgeous graphics click here.

You’re welcome.

Make sure to buy yourself something nice! Because you’re a special snowflake, dammit.

About the Author Alexandra Andersen

I founded Wine & Drama to make you laugh and help you learn all about wine, food, and living well. I love stinky cheese, my Nespresso machine, Loire Valley white wines, bold full-bodied reds, and championing ladies in winemaking.

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